The Over-Scheduled Child: Avoiding The Hyper-Parenting Trap

The Story

Do you find yourself asking 'Whose life is it anyway?' Parenting today has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade our every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowed child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear, comforting steps they prescribe to attack this rampant phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience. Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D. is a graduate of Cornell and Harvard Medical School, has taught at Harvard and Columbia and has headed the child psychiatry training program at Stanford. Currently he divides his time between private practices in New York City and Greenwich, Connecticut. Dr. Rosenfeld has written four books and over seventy articles on issues including child abuse, foster care, and psychotherapy. He lives with his wife, a pediatrician, and their three children in Stamford, Connecticut. Nicole Wise is an award-winning freelance journalist who has written about family life for more than a decade. Her work has been featured in a wide range of national and international publications, including 'Parents, The New York Times, Redbook,' and 'Cosmopolitan. 'Wise also lives in Stamford with her family. Robert Coles, M.D., a researcher and professor of psychiatry at Harvard and a Pulitzer Prize winner, has written numerous books and articles on the intellectual and spiritual lives of children. To many today, parenting has come to resemble a relentless to-do list. Even parents with the best intentions strive to micro-manage every detail of their kids' lives and live in constant fear that their child will under-perform in any area--academic, social, athletic. Lists and schedules, meetings and appointments invade every moment and the need to be the best dominates--and undermines--our own sense of self as well as our children's. In this groundbreaking new book, renowned child psychiatrist Alvin Rosenfeld, M.D., and longtime family-issues journalist Nicole Wise combine personal and professional experience to take action against what they see as our overeager pursuit of perfection. The clear steps they prescribe to combat this phenomenon will promote healthier and happier children and revitalize the parenting experience. 'This compelling, well-written book is a cautionary tale for parents who think that signing up their children for after-school activities and lessons is always in their best interest.'--'The New York Times' 'Dr. Rosenfeld and Ms. Wise have surely captured a worrisome contemporary problem with very well meaning parents who are highly focused on their performance. They bring to our attention the fact that children are not products to be handled through a total quality management process. The authors wisely caution that both children and parents need some unscheduled down-time for restoration and reflection. The hyper-parenting they discuss is causing tremendous stress on the parents, their children and on marriages. All parents, educators, coaches, and professionals who serve families must take heed of this book's astute observations and sage advice.'--Marilyn B. Benoit, M.D. 'In schools that are academically excellent but a Titanic of human values, the parents only contact with their children seems to be in the push, and they push them in every respect, not least into disastrous, premature sexuality. A large percentage of even the little ones are drugged (by prescription), and the parents are never at home but, rather, advancing thei